


The Hope Of It All

by Thatfan_girl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Hermione Granger, F/F, F/M, Family Secrets, Harry Needs a Hug, Harry is a Good Friend, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, M/M, Muggle/Wizard Relations, One-Sided Attraction, Protective Remus Lupin, Sad Sirius Black, Unrequited Love, Young Tom Riddle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatfan_girl/pseuds/Thatfan_girl
Summary: How would you react if you discovered that magic was real?Tom was pushed into the wizarding world at the age of fifteen ,as she tried to escape the Death Eater chasing her.Her once normal life turned into a mystery, her past full of lies and secrets.What was her mother hiding? Why was Voldemort after her?Follow Tom as she jumps into Harry’a fifth year ,helping him with his loss and anger and even changing the outcome of the war.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Ron Weasley/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!  
> Enjoy the story!

Mom’s funeral was a quite affair, which was fitting, since she lived a quite life. 

She never shouted, even when I most definitely crossed lines, she was quite about her past, she was quite about her work and about her friends- if she even had any. None of them came to say a final goodbye, so my guess is she was a quite and lonely teenager. None of her family came, but I know for certain it is because she had none. Maybe that’s why she married dad- he had a loud family -five brothers after all. Her silence was filled with his gentle chatter about his last sculpture or painting or about the animals and plants he saw while walking Bentley. 

That’s just how dad was, and that’s exactly how I was. When you grow up with silence you learn to fill in the blanks yourself. 

But I was quite today. It’s not that anyone talked really, plus the rain was making it difficult to hear the priest as they lowered her. And just like that. It took less then two hours and all the secrets she never told me were buried deep with her. She probably would have liked that. 

Dad didn’t speak much these days. I know he loved mom just as much as I did. I could see him slowly making his way to the car. I know mom would’ve wanted him to move on, but I really didn’t see it happening. And by the way he was lighting his cigerret I knew he wanted to be alone. _Good_. I didn’t want to go to our house. It felt too big for three people and now... 

I always did wonder why they chose such a large home if I never had any brothers. Dad’s workshop was painted in pastels with little bears. I never asked- I learned at the age of ten that you never ask such questions, when Abby asked Miss Eliot in third grade why she didn’t have children and she burst into tears. 

I started making the long way back home. The weather slowly turned humid and warm, as if trying to choke me with the pain of it all. The cars blurred my left vision as I looked at the old buildings of London on the right. _How do you deal? How do you cope? Was I supposed to walk the street of my city as if nothing had changed?_

Getting lost in the maze of corners and one way streets occupied my time as the sun fell and the bright moon took its place. My mind wondering more than me even though I should have gotten home hours ago, but I just couldn’t. One step, two steps, three steps. 

_Wait_. 

I was at a dead end street. And there was someone blocking my way. 

I tried lowering my sight down, hands clenched in my pockets, quick paced steps towards the figure and the light. 

The figure moved suddenly towards me and I held my breath and took a step back. 

“ **Where is she?** ” 

He had a deep voice, and a smooth one at that. I was _terrified_. His face was covered by an iron mask with elaborate designs but I could make out pale blue eyes. 

“Wha-a- I don’t- who are yo-

“ **Don’t play coy, I know you know** ” he took out something from his pocket. _Was he going to kill me?_ I wasn’t going to stay to find out. Launching quickly to the side I rolled around him before he could react and sprinted into the crowded street. Shoving people, I parted my way as far away from the danger as possible. My side was burning, my empty stomach making me almost vomit. I had to run, had to get away. I took a sharp corner into a deserted street and knew I made a mistake. 

He was there _. But how_? 

The knife from before was in his hand and he was pointing it at me. The sweat on my face turned cold and I started hearing buzzing. 

I turned around to run back- 

“ **You can’t hide child** ,” falling from the shock of seeing him right in front of me I straggled, confused ,to get away from him “ **I need something you know. And I will get it from you** ,” the knife from before wasn’t a knife at all, but a stick? _What_?” **one way or another-**

“STUPEFY” 

“ **PROTEGO** ” the men shouted, face turned upwards as the red light disappeared around him. _Was Stupefy his name? And who was the other voice?_

I didn’t have time to react before he just disappeared- I must be going mad. People didn’t just vanish like that. I tried to stand up and look around but my shaky legs gave out and the ground came closer. My head was pounding. 

_Was there a fire nearby?_ Everything was full of smoke, I couldn’t see clearly. 

“Are -okay-“

“Look at me-“

“Did -hurt-“

But I didn’t answer. All I saw was darkness. 

“Careful Molly, we still don’t know if she is a danger,”

“She is just a teenage, Alastor, _behave_ ” 

“If she was just a teenager a death eater wouldn’t be chasing her.”

_A death eater? Chasing_ _me_ _?_

Everything was coming back to me, but unfortunately so did the panic. 

“Quite she is waking up! Call for Albus and Severus,” 

Shit. 

_Did they kidnap me?_ I must find a way to escape. But from the sound of it there were at least three people in the room, and two more outside. 

And i was _so_ tired.

The slight movement of the air near me gave away the close presence of one of them. 

“Can you open your eyes dear?” 

Her motherly voice didn’t sound threatening. In fact it reminded me of dad... 

_Dad! He must be worried sick!_

Slowly I let the burn of the light inside. The blurred figure to my right became clearer and clearer until I stared at a woman in her forties with bright red hair and a warm smile. 

“I’m Molly dear, how are you feeling?” 

I tried speaking but my throat was filled with sand. 

“There you go”

The men to my left was tall with sandy hair and a big scar in his face. 

“Thank you,” I whispered after I finished drinking and lowered my eyes down.”I’m fine”

The door opened and in came two people, one had black shoulder length hair, with a sneer so clear I felt myself flinch. The other was unbelievably old with bright purple robes and white beard so long it must have been touching the ground. 

“My name is Albus Dumbledore and this is Severus Snape,” he gestured towards the younger man,” he will give you a healing potion now, and I suggest you drink it as quickly as possible, it can be quite unpleasant” 

He said it all with such an understanding voice and his eyes twinkled in the light. 

“A potion.” They were all insane, I had to leave. 

“Yes, and the correct response would have been ‘thank you’”

“ **Severus**!” Molly exclaimed. I took the bottle with wide eyes. It looked green with light blue smoke. Were they a part of a cult? My confusion must have been clear since Dumbledore chuckled and said-“I know you must be confused, tell me- you are not from the wizarding world, are you not?”

“The wiza- no sir I am certainly not. There is no such thing as magic.” The sneer on Snape’s face deepened and I really started wondering why he was even there. Molly looked torn between understanding and pity. The scared man was deep in thoughts, and what he concluded had to have been pretty bad.

“Well than,” the old man took out a stick,”magic does exist-” he waved it and my glass levitated for a few seconds “it’s okay to be in shock miss…?”

Magic was real. _How could I comprehend that_? It’s was both the most amazing and most terrifying thing to learn.

“How. I don’t- understand-“I took a deep breath. Maybe my head injury was greater than I expected. Feeling I had nothing to loose I drank the whole potion. To my great surprise I was suddenly hit with a wave of energy. Nothing hurt and I set up straighter.

“Your name miss,” Albus gently reminded.

“Tom” I said, eyes focusing on the details of the room” my name is Tom Canis Alwood”

“It’s lovely to meet you miss Alwood, I must ask some questions, if you don’t mind,” although Dumbledore’s tone of voice was light and warm it left no room for error- he would ask me those questions, and I would answer.

“Molly, Remus, Severus- I must ask you to leave us”

I knew I should have been scared but I wasn’t. Something about this house calmed me down. Maybe it was the dark green walls, or the old wooden floors, or maybe just the feel of a lived in space, I felt safe. Albus took Molly’s chair besides me and for the first time since he walked in, he lost the twinkle in his eyes, and looked intensely at me. I had the distant feeling of being studied, but what did he hope to find?

“I think we should start this off with an agreement,” he sternly said, “You will speak the truth and so will I, do you accept?”

“Yes.”I was proud of my voice staying flat and strong.

“Tell me what happened, and spear no detail,”

And so I did. I told him about walking home, turning the wrong corner, trying to walk past the figure. I told him I was scared and tried to ran away, that the men was searching for someone. He listened to it all deeply as though it all played in his own head like a movie.

“Do you have any idea who this woman they were looking for is?”

“No! I don’t even know who they are or why they chose to threaten me...”

“That is all very concerning. The men you encountered was, what we call, a death eater. He is one of the many follower of Lord Voldemort. “He didn’t elaborate more but my mind was going at high speed.

“What do they want from me? I have no magic, no special skills. I’m just Tom”

Albus smiled gently, a sad gleam in his eyes,”You aren’t just Tom. You are you and you will find that is more than special.”

“Will you let me go?”

“I am afraid they are still after you-“

“But I can’t leave Dad alone! Not now, I just can’t”

“You realize this is your life we are talking about. Don’t take that man’s appearance lightly. They will never give up.”

Tears started forming in the corners of my eyes,”I know and I’m sorry but I have to leave.”

Dumbledore watched me for a couple of minutes, his glasses catching the morning light. “We will take precautions of course. You won’t leave the house and your father mustn’t know anything of the events that occurred.”

“I promise” 


	2. THE SMELL OF SMOKE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her life is so tragic, really.

To say I was still processing it all would be an understatement, but as I rang the bell home I found myself worried less about unimaginable dangers and relieved more to hear dad’s loud footsteps.

“Where have you been?” he said quickly, standing with his bunny slippers and blue robe, blocking my way inside, “I was bloody worried Toms- you were with your friends- right? - That Tiffany girl- always knew she was more trouble than it’s worth-”

That was dad for you. I never had to explain anything, he usually jumped to his own conclusions. This time I was glad. Instead of arguing I simply moved forward and hugged him, careful not spill his, no doubt, cold coffee. The smell of paint and oils was so familiar- so homely. _And Dumbledore wanted me to give up this?_

“M’ sorry dad,” I murmured tiredly into his shirt,” I-I just needed some time.”

Sighing he held me closer, “It’s all good Toms. It’s all good.”

I was surprised nothing changed. The rooms still looked the same, the stairs still creaked, the cup mom used just before was still half full. I guess I expected the house to adapt- to show somehow that one member of the family was forever gone. Bentley waited for me on my bed, wiggling his tail and breathing heavily. He was a beautiful Labrador dad and I found one day when he picked me up from school. He really was the brother I never had, plus he was absolutely massive. I remember being surprised mom agreed to our pleas to keep him, but then again she did always have a soft spot for dogs.

“Good boy Bentley,” I started rubbing his head,” Such a good boy”

My room was as tidy as ever, quite boring really. I preferred simplicity and most of my furniture was white. It felt empty and dusty but I never did anything to change that. The only thing remotely colorful inside was the mural mom and dad painted just above my bed. Mom wasn’t a gifted painter and of course I inherited that from her. It was the only painting in the house she was a part of. It was the night sky with one star constellation- I think it was the Hunter, Orion was it?

Plopping into my bed I freed my long black hair from the messy braid I wore to the funeral, the familiar blackness of sleep slowly marching towards me- and I greeted it as an old friend, wizards and promises long forgotten.

The next days were spent lazily. I mostly played with Bentley outside, his gold fur flickering in the sunlight, as dad painted away his sorrow upstairs in his workshop. My friends came to visit- Tiffany and Mark -and dad was right, they were bad influence. We spent most of the time hidden in a spot I knew was sheltered from the windows of the house, passing cigarettes and jokes. Mark was older than me and Tiff but he had no plans for his future, in fact he had never had a solid plan is his life. He wasn’t ‘that kind of guy’- he was the ‘go with the flow, smoke with fifteen year olds, sleep with twenty year olds kind of guy’. Tiff was the one with the plans. Her father was rich and she was sure to get into the best college money could buy. It was too bad she was wasting away more and more each day.

The only reason I was still friends with them was because I never knew anything different. Tiff and I sat at the same table together since grade one, and really I didn’t have a line of people waiting to take her place. Mark was the one to sell us cigarettes when we were thirteen and didn’t know which markets didn’t check for I.D’s.

“You lady’s chose which subjects you gon’ study next year?” Mark said with his chill voice.

“Theater.” Tiff answered, the smoke floating around her curled blond hair.

“Physics and Biology.” I replied shyly. My excellence at school was always a touchy subject.

“Nerd,” the boy drawled, “bu’ then again daddy can’t pay Harvar’ to enroll you.”

Tiff rolled her eyes,” Shut it pervert”

“Pass me some” I pointed at his pack, used to their bickering.

“Ohh who that, riskin’ smelling like fuckn’ chimney”

“Tiff’s right- you _are_ a pervert” I marveled at their laughter, and for some reason I had this feeling it would be the last time I could sit like that- like a normal teenager.

I woke up so suddenly I could have thought I was still dreaming. There were loud noises coming from downstairs, but I couldn’t make out what they were. Slowly, full of adrenaline, I walked through the door and crouched just before the first stair, trying to hear something.

“I don’t know who you are talking about!” that was dad, his voice urgent and full of fear.

“ **We saw her entering the house** ,” the deep voice threatened, “ **we won’t wait much longer**.”

I froze. It was him. The masked men- _a Death Eater_.

“I beg of you, please, you got the wrong house,” There a loud bang as the vase in the living room fell over.

“ _Dad no_ ,” I whispered, hypnotized by the scene. 

“ **You should know, The Dark Lord doesn’t take no as an answer**.”

“ _Run Dad, run_ ”

“But that is the only answer I have!”

“ **CRUCIO**!” Dad’s screams were the worst sound I have I ever heard. They were full of _pain_ and _agony_ , I didn’t even notice tears running down my face.

“ **WHERE IS SHE** ” the men screamed as dad breathed heavily.

I heard a whimper coming from Bentley as he, no doubt, came to save dad from the pain. “I don’t…I don’t…” dad’s voice was so weak I felt myself rise up and move down the stairs.

The scene was awful. The living room was trashed, the coffee table was tossed aside, water from the vase was darkening the wooden floor. Dad was laying on his side with his blue robe, one of his slippers missing, as Bentley stood right in front of him, ever the protector. The masked men was next to the couch his wand pointed and rage clear.

“LEAVE HIM” I yelled.

“No no Toms you have to… you have to…” dad looked at me desperately but unable to move.

“ **Tom? You are Tom?** ” _Was that triumph in his voice_? “ **Well that makes my job much easier** ” 

“Why?” He speared me no answer as he moved to grab me, but before he could Bentley jumped and bit his arm.

“ **AHHH YOU STUPID DOG** ” he yelled, losing his cool for the first time, “ **AVADA KEDABRA** ”

I watched the green light hit my good boy, and he fell to the floor frozen. “ _Bentley_ ” I whispered. I heard nothing as grief took over. _I lost my brother. My companion_.

As I fell to the floor next to dad I felt a wave of energy burst from my body and destroy everything near me- the paintings dad worked so hard on, mom’s piano, our photo albums, the furniture- it speared nothing. Faintly I heard a scream as the men flew back from the impact. I didn’t care. I was stuck in my bubble with my little broken family as my house blew up around us.

“Try not to make a habit out of this.”

I awoke one again, slowly this time, to the familiar room from a week ago. My brain felt like copper and my body was heavy. It took me too much to focus on the figure next to me- _Skape? No Snape_.

“Where’s my dad?” My own voice sounded dead to me.

“You will be glad to know he is currently being taken care of at Saint Mungo’s hospital” Snape’s said unimpressed. I didn’t expect compassion- but I didn’t expect whatever _this_ was.

“And the house…” _I destroyed it_. _I destroyed my home._

“You will have some explaining to do about that,” he sneered,” it was quite in shambles when we were alerted of the situation.”

I let my head hit the pillow and stared up. I lost so much in such a short amount of time. Suddenly everything I had ever worried about seemed like a joke.

“Professor Dumbledore will come here soon,” he stood up, “in the mean time I would advise you to drink the potion next to you.”

_What will happen to me now?_

I tried not to think too much about the future, since the past was still a big mystery.

_‘_ ** _Tom? You are Tom?_** _’ Why was he searching for me?_

_“_ How are you feeling?” I didn’t even notice Dumbledore walking in. His kind voice and sad eyes found mine and I felt calmer.

“I want to say ‘fine’ but we promised not to lie to each other.” I once again set up and stared as he took Snape’s seat. “Will my dad be okay?”

“Yes,” he said slowly his eyes avoiding mine as he looked at the potion,” but his memories will have to be altered.”

“WHAT?”

“It is a necessity for his safety,” Albus watched me gently,” please, understand that.”

All the air left my body. “Will he remember me at all?”

“Of course, he will simply think you left for boarding school and he moved into a smaller house now that he is alone.” His words meant to be comforting, but as I imagined dad alone, without even Bentley for company, I felt tears slowly making their way down.

“For his safety. Everything for his safety.” I repeated hoping to convince myself.

After telling Dumbledore step by step everything he finally left me alone, with promise of food downstairs and explanations later. Not for the first time I wondered if I would ever get any information out of that man.

Changing into the new clothes presented to me and drinking the potion took way too much time than what was necessary but I indulged in the simple and familiar activities. Walking downstairs however, proved to be quite shocking. The highlight of the trip definitely had to be the heads of what looked like small goblins, which were used as decorations. The house itself was bigger than expected, old and with hints of something beneath the surface. _Something dark_.

I thought I would never find my way to the kitchens in the maze of rooms and locked doors.

“Hey!” I must have gotten whiplash from the speed with which my head turned. I came face to face with two boys- one tall, freckled and incredibly ginger and the other… well the other looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He had dark messy hair, a handsome face and emerald eyes which were carefully hidden behind a pair of round glasses. 

“Hey,” I cautiously said, “know where the kitchens are?”

“Yes, we were actually just headed there ourselves,” the ginger teen said cheerily, “I’m Ron by the way, Ron Weasley- and you must be Tom Alwood, right?”

“Yeh, I am. Pleasure Ron.” Taken aback by his knowledge I turned to the second boy, “And what’s your name?”

“Harry.”

“Harry…?”

“Just Harry will do.”

“Oh.”

Ron shifted uncomfortably at the tension. Harry was staring at me like I personally was responsible for all of his misfortunes, a look that was so unfitting to his pretty eyes.

“Should we go… or….” Ron awkwardly said, staring at me as well, but with a look much more familiar.

“Let’s.”

I quickly found out that Ron and Harry were my age, and they both were in Gryffindor- whatever that was. Apparently Ron had five more brothers and a sister, and his mother, Molly, was the one to prepared dinner tonight. Harry remained silent with the occasional glance at me- which was his problem all in all. Ron was good enough company.

We were the first out of many to reach the dusty dining room- according to Molly. I let out a squeak when I recognized her from my previous time here. Ron continued filling the air with meaningless chatter and I continued watching Harry out of the corners of my eyes.

“…you stay?” Ron looked at me, awaiting my answer.

“um.. uh-

“He asked if you are going to stay here.” I turned to the dark haired teen.

“I have nowhere to go, so I guess I will.”

“Well you are more than welcomed dear” Molly exclaimed as she put down a plate with bread on the table.

“Thank y-“

“Are you Tom Alwood?” I looked as a girl my age entered the room. She had bushy hair and a slightly strict face.

“Yes.”

“I’m Hermione Granger, pleasure meeting you,” she extended her hand towards me and I took it.

“Oh is that new blood I see here?”

“And what a pretty one at that!”

“Fred, George- **behave**!” Molly said, no doubt to her sons- they were identical and very much ginger with matching grins.

I was becoming slightly overwhelmed with the amount of new faces around me.

“Hi” I whispered. I heard Molly say they were waiting only for Ginny and Sirius and I was suddenly very glad Snape wouldn’t be joining.

“So… you are the biggest mystery of the week,” one of the twins said cheekily.

“Of the week? Of the month I would say!” the other replied.

“That is until Harry does something unexplainable…”

“True, true.”

I looked at him again but he was staring intensely at the bread. I moved to take some water-

“What is that?!” Ron pointed scandalously at my, now, rolled up sleeve.

“Wha’- oh, you mean this?” I showed them my forearm, where a tattoo was clearly visible.

“That’s… quite the place for a tattoo…” he said sheepishly.

“Oh Ronald,” Hermione rolled her eyes, an activity I was certain she did a lot,” Muggles don’t have Dark Marks, _relax_.”

“Dark Marks? - no no it’s just a star constellation,” I replied, concerned,” My mom used to love them, so…”

“Used to?” Harry asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“She- she passed away,” my voice became quite, “last week actually.” 

“I‘m sorry,” _was that understanding in his eyes?_

“That’s horrible Tom!” Hermione exclaimed as Ron nodded vigorously.

“It’s fine.”

“So what does it mean?” one of the twins pointed once again to my arm, earning a glare from the strict girl. “I am sure she doesn’t what to speak about that-“

“No really, it’s okay,” I gave them a smile, and Ron smiled back widely, “When we found out mom was sick I decided to get the constellation she always talked about. She used to say- ‘remember Tom, when you are lost just look to the stars and find the brightest one there is, and it shall bring you back home’. So I got the whole constellation, to remind me of her.”

“She sounds like a lovely person.” Hermione gently said.

“So what is it? Which star shines the brightest?” One on the twins asked.

“Well it’s part of the Dog star, it’s called- 

“Sirius, is it not?” a deep voice said.

“Yes!” I turned to the men standing at door. My own blue eyes stared intensely back at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!


	3. SEEDS OF DOUBT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry continues to be an enigma to Tom.

His eyes were wild, just like mom’s were. His whole beauty, the way he stood, the way his voice carried itself across the room- were so familiar.

_Sirius_. The star tattooed on my forearm. The one to bring me home.

He had that same look I was so jealous of mom for. It was the kind that drew people in, the kind that whispered of adventures and friendship and tan skin from days at the beach. It was summer and wild hair and ocean eyes. It was quite rebellion and whispered promises of love.

Mine caused people to think twice before speaking to me, for fear of rejection. It was cold and stony and sharp.

Dinner was awkward for all parties- Especially for me. Sirius kept eyeing me and so did Ron. The twins and Ginny tried lightning the mood by telling jokes and sharing stories, but I couldn’t get rid of the strange feeling I got when looking at Black.

“So, Tom,” Hermione placed her fork down, “Mind sharing with us a little bit about yourself?” I could sense Harry stiffening next to me. 

“Sure, but I warn you,” I said with an easy smile,” I am quite boring.”

“Well you **did** get chased by a death eate-

“ **RON**!” Hermione and Molly exclaimed. He murmured a quite sorry, face red from embarrassment. 

“Um, I _used_ to be boring at least. Dad -he is the fun one!” I perked up as I mentioned him, and for some reason so did Harry,” He is a painter, and a real good one at that. He is funny and he can speak to himself for hours- one time he had a whole conversation with us, and we didn’t even say a thing!”

“Got any brothers?” Ron inquired, still slightly red.

“Or any sisters?” one of the twins asked suggestively, which rewarded him with a glare from Molly.

I laughed, “No, sorry to disappoint. We were a small family.” I frowned at my own use of past tense. We really were no longer the same. Sirius gave me a sad smile, his arms crossed and a mug of untouched tea in front of him.

“What about you? Hermione? Harry?” It was like the temperature dropped after the question. I saw Ginny looking worriedly at Harry.

“Uh, I’m also an only child, um...” Hermione uncertainly said.

“Yeah me too.” Harry stated. I could tell there was something else there. 

“Well my family was bloody crazy, honestly.” Sirius tried breaking the tension. Small laughter danced around the table and I found myself thinking of my friends, who probably won’t get an explanation to my disappearance. We chatted aimlessly some more, about books and music and Quidditch. ‘Safe zones’ as I liked to call them. 

“I think I will go rest…” the yawn escaped before I could stop it. Ron hurriedly stood up, blush making his freckles pop. “I’ll come with you.”

Smiling I thanked Molly for the meal. Ron was a chatter that’s for sure. He told me about the different rooms and pointed at random stuff on the floor. It was in moments like those when I longed for a cigarette. _Just one, god_.

“So what’s up with Harry?” intending to be sleek I looked around the third floor hallway casually. The boy was an enigma to me. He held such hostility, almost hatred towards a girl he had never met, yet was admired by his friends. I saw Ginny sending him glances so he couldn’t be like that towards everybody _. And he looks good_ …

“He is usually very nice,” Ron scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “Don’t take it too hard…”

“Didn’t intend too,” I walked towards my room, turning at the last minute,” Thanks Ron, you are nice company.” I wanted to ignore the way his face turned red, or the way his smile widened, but I couldn’t.

Was I tired? Yes. But what I really wanted to do was explore. Alone preferably.

I remade my signature braid and quietly walked out. A good place to start snooping would probably be the rooms next to me. The hallway was dim and cold, decorated mainly in green. I sneaked to the furthest door from the stairs but it was annoyingly locked. And the one next to it.

“Success” I whispered to myself as the third one finally gave away.

I was surprised at the amount of red. The bed-sheets, the posters, the rug, the walls- everything was a different shade of red. Walking closer to some of the pictures hanged up, I saw, to my amusement, different car models and girls with little fabric. Mom hated those sports magazines. The untidiness of it all looked almost forced. It was defiantly a teen’s room. The rebellious one. The one mother doesn’t approve of, and father has given up on. The one who sells cigarettes to thirteen year olds. Mark would have loved this.

“Found anything interesting?” I froze, my smile vanishing as though it never existed.

“Sorry,” I looked down in shame. _They saved you and there you go ruining it all_. 

“I am not mad, “Sirius walked into the room and looked around,” This used to be my room, before- well it doesn’t matter. Like it?”

“Too much red.”

“Hum. Maybe you are right.” He said, his face deep in thought as if he saw the color for the first time. I shuffled awkwardly, watching him. His clothes were expensive if a bit old. He stood there so casually, in a way mom never could.

“Ron seems to like you, did you notice?” he asked out of the blue. Was he trying to start a conversation? Or was he studying me?

“And Harry seems to dislike me. Did _you_ notice _that_?” asking boldly, I looked at him, the blue in his eyes catching the red. His face stayed impassive, if only a bit tenser than before.

“He had a difficult year-years, really.” The statement held so much weight, so much sadness, I felt like an intruder just hearing it. I kept rolling it around my head as I laid in bed later that night, watching the shadows dance on the ceiling. _Difficult years_. I wanted to say- _but he is only fifteen_! But age never stopped tragedy.

Green eyes hunted my dreams that night, but never had I slept better.

“Tom, dear, Dumbledore will come by tonight- an Order meeting- you are requested to join.” Molly’s words greeted me as I walked into the kitchen the next morning. I hummed in agreement, never one for morning chatter. Not before coffee at least.

It took me half a cup to notice the tense atmosphere chocking the room. Ron was eating toast with as much enthusiasm as a dead fish, Hermione’s eyes danced across the same line in her book for the last couple of minutes and Molly seemed to check the clock so much it must have held the answers to the world’s greatest question.

I tried dipping my toe into the cold water- “So… did something…happen?”

Hermione seemed to jump slightly, “oh it’s nothing- well not nothing- it big really, but I don’t know if you would- well you would, but I don’t-“

“What Hermione here is trying to say is- we don’t know if we can tell you.” Ron came to the rescue. I watched Hermione loose some of her tension as she looked at him, but her eyes fixated on the clock soon enough.

“I don’t see any reason why not,” Molly sat next to me, a sigh escaping her,” It’s Harry- he is in trouble-quite unjustly, if you ask me- with the ministry, and is in the middle of his hearing.”

“His hearing? What happened?” I didn’t expect this.

“He defended himself! And that stupid ministry- sorry Mrs. Weasley- is way out of line!” Hermione seemed angry, her hair bouncing with energy, her eyes unfocused.

“Yeah, like that’s new.” Ron shook his head. I felt like I was missing a big piece of knowledge. The ministry wasn’t _that_ bad. I mean, they could do better, but I would have remembered a fifteen year old getting accused of a crime big enough to warren a hearing.

“That’s nothing to worry about, Dumbledore will fix it- Nothing that man can’t do.” Molly said, even though she looked positively stressed. Dumbledore seemed wise and powerful, but was he influential in the ministry? How come I’ve never heard of him before?

“Yeah well according to the papers he’s losing it. Plus Fudge hates him now-That toad.” Ron sighed.

“Fudge? Who is Fudge?” The red head quickly looked at me before realization appeared on his freckled face.

“Bloody hell I completely forgot! You have no idea about the ministry!” I shook my head in agreement, “Well, you have your muggle- that’s non magic- ministry, right? Well we have our own. They basically ran the wizarding community, keep muggles in the dark about as, and do all sort of stuff. Dad works there, deals with muggles.”

“Why is Harry in trouble? What’s so bad about defending yourself?”

“Harry used magic-

“He had no choice!”

“ _I know Hermione_! - He used magic near muggles, and he is not seventeen yet. Fudge is looking for any excuse to humiliate him and Dumbledore.” Ron finished, his hand was pulled into a tight fist. Molly huffed and went away, murmuring insults about Fudge on her way.

“Why would _the_ _minister_ care about a fifteen year old?” I laughed dryly. The idea was simply absurd. Hermione shot me a dirty look but I held my ground.

“Harry is not just a regular fifteen year old, _Tom_.” She said, annoyed. _Well sue me! How was I supposed to know that?_ “He is the boy who lived.”

“Well… _technically_ … even Ron is the boy who lived- he is alive isn’t he?” I said. Hermione was getting on my nerves. Ron turned his laugh into a cough at her stern stare.

“Don’t you dare make fun of what Harry has been through!”

“Am not!”

“Hermione, Tom obviously doesn’t know. No need for all this.” Ron wisely said. I smiled at him, making his face turn a delicious shade of red. “Do you know who you-know- who is?”

“Um no? Wait! Is it that Voldetort guy? With the Death Eaters?” Hermione chocked on her glass of water. “It’s _Voldemort_.” She let out.

“Yes, that’s You-Know-Who. We don’t use his name- too painful for most. Fifteen years ago he tried killing Harry, but somehow the killing curse rebounded and killed him instead.” He scrunched his nose,” well, sort of- he came back, last year. Harry fought him, and tried warning the ministry. They… ignored him. Wrote horrible articles about him, too.” The red head looked deep in thoughts, as if remembering past events.

“Is Harry here with his parents or...?”

“No, they died. The same night You-Know-Who attacked him.” Hermione quietly said.

Suddenly Sirius’s words just clicked. Harry was an orphan of war. He was probably declared as the savior and treated as such- expected to be the hero, to save everyone. But now it was all held against him. His fame, title- his whole life. And for what? For trying to, once again, do the right thing?

The haunted look in his green eyes stood before me and I longed to offer some warmth.

I didn’t try bothering the pair more, preferring to simply sit in silence as the tension grew with each tick of the clock. Dad would know how to approach such situations- he always did. He had a certain talent with words I simply couldn’t learn. _I haven’t seen him in two days_. _Was he missing me, like I was missing him_?

Launch was served quietly and in anticipation. Hermione was practically shaking with anxiety and Ron went off- probably to distract himself. Sirius, the twins and Ginny joined the large and old table with grim faces. Just as I was about to take another serving of soup the door creaked open and Harry’s wild black hair poked in. Six pairs of eyes watched him, but his smile spoke for itself.

“NOT GUILTY!” Arthur roared behind him. Like an explosion, each member screamed with excitement and relief, running up to the boy and hugging him with force. The twins and Ginny started dancing and singing, to the annoyance of Molly. Harry awkwardly but happily stood around chatting with Ron and Sirius, every once in a while glancing at me. I felt like an intruder, an outsider, looking through the window at some family as they celebrated. Quietly getting up I intended on making my way to my room but before I could a warm hand grabbed my own. “D’you have a moment?”

“Ye-yes” I watched Harry in surprise, mesmerized. We made our way outside just as Molly started screaming at the twins for their loud singing.

“I wanted to apologize,” he awkwardly scratched his head, his eyes betraying just how gentle and honest he truly was, “I acted like a prick yesterday. I was just- you reminded me of someone, and I kinda lost it. I am sorry.”

I was honestly so surprised. We stood close together, my blue eyes reflected in his gentle green ones. “I get it, you were stressed and afraid- I understand.”

I marveled at the small smile gracing his lips, the way his dark hair fell gently over his eyes, the way his glasses made his small and sculptured nose pop. 

“I think we can start over- my name’s Harry Potter,” he extended a hand and I gladly took it, my gaze transfixed onto his own.

“Tom Alwood- pleasure meeting you Harry.”

“Harry, mate, you coming?” Ron’s voice carried from the door. His hazel eyes watched intensely the scene.

“Yeah,” Harry took a step back, and I felt the cold take his place.

“Before you go!” I suddenly remembered,” You said I reminded you of someone. Who?” His whole demeanor turned dark. 

“Funny enough you share his name- Tom Riddle. You look so much like him. Except your eyes. His were dark brown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. I NEVER HAD THE COURAGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Order meetings

_Tom Riddle_. What a strange name. I looked at myself in the mirror, studying my own reflection so intensely I half expect Riddle to suddenly pop up and replace me. My hair was silky, long and dark, my nose was straight and cheek bones high, my jaw and face were sharp and stony- marble like. The only feature to look out of place were my eyes. The same as mom’s. A vibrant blue. _The same as Sirius’s_.

I was never compared to anyone, no one ever made the connection between my parents and me. I wasn’t used to this, but apparently some man I had never met in my life resembled me strongly enough for Harry to notice.

Some things just didn’t add up- Sirius, my tattoo, mom’s secret past, the death eaters. Maybe there was a reason why she never spoke of her childhood. But now she won’t have the chance to tell me. Maybe it was what she wanted.

As evening approached and I became restless in my blank room, excitement started seeping into my bones as the meeting tonight came to mind. Finally some answers! Hoping happily down the stairs and into the kitchen Remus Lupin greeted me.

“How are you feeling, Tom?” he said with a gentle and tired smile. Once again I noticed the old clothes and scars on his face, a sharp contrast to his almost withdrawn personality.

“Better.” I replied honestly. The pain of losing my house and parents was dulled by the unknown surrounding me. We walked quietly to the table, sitting opposite Snape, who gave as both his trademark sneer. One by one Order members were filling the empty sits as Lupin whispered to me their names. Bill (“ _Ron’s brother!_ ”), Mundungus, Tonks, Moody (“ _he was there when I woke up_ ”), Kingsley and a few others. Harry and his friends walked in, anticipation in their step, but were quickly ushered out by Molly. Sirius put a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder before sitting next to Lupin, sending a sneer at Snape. 

The noisy room turned silent in a matter of seconds, marking the arrival of Dumbledore. He looked… _tired_. Bothered. My gaze followed him closely as I leaned on the table, catching the eyes of a few members.

“Welcome everyone!” Albus started, arms open wide and a smile on his face, “Before we dive into today’s topic I would like to hear developments regarding your tasks. Shacklebolt- let’s start with you…”

The reports lasted half an hour, each member speaking about tasks unclear to my muggle knowledge. I caught onto some talk about a Department of Mysteries and a weapon but having no clue what it actually meant the information slipped beneath my fingers. 

“Thank you Tonks,” Dumbledore finally said, his eyes turned to me, the familiar twinkle making itself known,” Now as you may have noticed, we have a new face sitting here,” he gestured at me and I had to fight blushing at all the attention,” May I present to you- Tom Alwood.”

The reactions to me were divided. The older members were eyeing me cautiously yet the younger ones simply smiled and said hello.

“Miss Alwood was attacked by a Death Eater and had to go into hiding. I have a theory I want to test- Miss Alwood if you would-“he waved me over, and I stood up on weak legs. He presented me with his wand, a beautifully carved piece of wood.

“Now, please, concentrate and say Lumos. The tip of the wand should light up- if you are indeed a witch, that is.”

I watched the wand with fascination, the warmth making my hand slightly tingle. I thought about home and picnic days, and willed the light from fond memories to brighten my present.

I thought I had gone blind for a second. The light from the wand was so strong I could _feel_ it. “That’s good, now if you would hand it over,” Dumbledore loudly said over the complaints of others. The moment it slipped from my grasp the light stopped and I watched Lupin and Sirius adorning matching grins.

“How is that possible Albus!” Moody loudly proclaimed from his sit,” How come no one knew about her existence until now?” murmurs of agreement and wonder danced around the table.

“I am sorry to say that I have no idea,” he calmly answered,” but it is a question worth delving into and I shall put some much needed time into it.”

“What will happen to me?” I asked slight fear in my voice. The horror movies I used to watch about wizards danced before my eyes.

“Rest assured no harm will come upon you,” he softly said, “I think it best if you come to Hogwarts and begin your education.” 

I toyed with the idea of a magical school, and of pointy hats and heavy spell books. The notion was amusing yet slightly absurd. “I don’t think I belong here, I am no witch. I- I have my own school and friends. I have a family. I-“my voice shook as I took a step back. Snape scoffed and rolled his eyes-“I told you she would act like this.” 

“Shut it Snavillus,” Sirius growled.

“Wait Tom, you do belong, “Lupin got up from his sit, his arms outstretched in a calming manner, “What you just did- that’s magic. You _are_ special.”

“ **Special**? _Special_ people like you ruined my life!” I said with venom, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. If the man who killed my dog and harmed dad was a part of this world than I didn’t want it. I didn’t want this cruel privilege. I wanted to go home.

But I destroyed it, didn’t I? I blew it up. Because I’m _special_. A time bomb. Who knows, maybe next time it wouldn’t be property but someone I care about.

I ran out of the kitchen before anyone could stop me. The thought of meeting the other kids upstairs sickened me and I took a sharp turn to the left and sprinted out the front door, my boots hitting the pavement and the cold evening air finally entering my lungs.

The first sob escaped me as I fell to my knees in a nearby park. Faintly my mind recognized that street as the one I had ran into a week prior. I cried for my past and my stolen future. I cried for my friends, for my home, for dad and Bentley and the painting on my wall. I cried and cried until my head hurt and my face was soaked with salty tears. I cried until I didn’t. Sitting on the synthetic grass and watching the empty park with a blank stare, I couldn’t even phantom a single coherent thought except the pathetic self-pity.

“Harry.” my voice was void of any emotion. He sat on the grass near me, his eyes looking ahead. I noticed it was chilly but neither of us complained about the lack of warm clothes. 

“I was eleven when they told me I was a wizard,” He quietly said, his gentle voice caressing the swings and slides, “It was the happiest day of my life. My childhood was not a happy one you see, and most of time I spent imagining someone coming and whisking me away. And then they told me and I was finally free. Free of my horrible aunt and uncle, free of the tiny cupboard under the stairs. A magical moment indeed.”

“I was free beforehand. I don’t need salvation.” I stated.

“But I hadn’t gotten salvation. It was the happiest day of an eleven year old. Now, it is a turning point, neither good nor bad. From one cage I was put into another. The biggest threat to me now is not a missing meal or my uncle’s anger. Now I fear the death of my friends. I fear of oncoming wars and my role in them. We don’t always know what life will bring. You think I knew I would be the target of Voldemort when Hagrid told me about Hogwarts and magic?” he chuckled and I was amazed at his humility. His story seemed horrible, yet he shrugged off his potential death as if it was nothing.

“Not to sound like a shitty person, but how is that supposed to cheer me up?” he laughed out loud and I couldn’t help but smile.

“What I am trying to say here,” he looked at me, raising his eyebrows playfully, “is that you might think your life is screwed, and you will never feel the same happiness again. But what if it is just a turning point? What if, in a sense, it was…meant to be?”

“I just need time to mourn my old life. Everything is about to change.”

“And isn’t that a curios thought.” He smiled easily. 

I let out a sigh, “Coming back inside will be _so_ awkward.”

“Don’t worry Tom,” he stood up and extended him hand for me to use, “You are with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
